I switched into the passing lane as I went under the Royal Oak overpass. There was a steady stream of cars merging onto the Pat Bay highway. A light grey compact SUV jumped from two or three cars back into the lane in front of me, cutting me off. My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and I gritted my teeth and muttered a few regrettable words quietly to myself. Bouncing from lane to lane, the SUV didn’t make it that far ahead in the thick traffic before veering off the highway at McKenzie. As I crossed McKenzie I glanced off to my right. The SUV was frantically heading west toward the Trans-Canada highway.
“What is wrong with that person? Geez, slow down!” I thought. Then other thoughts crossed my mind. What if that person was rushing to the hospital? What if someone they loved and cared for was dying?
In a guided meditation recently I was challenged to pause —— before passing judgement. To stop. And think. What if that person is not a jerk or an idiot? What if they are desperate because they just heard the worst news of their lives. Remember how you felt the last time you heard really bad news?
Maybe something else is going on
That does not make erratic driving more safe. But it does create the space for kindness and compassion that we would hope others offer us in our times of need. If compassion is the first response I have, then I grip the wheel less tightly, have less grit in my teeth and have more positive thoughts cross my mind. Generally, I am more pleasant to be around.
No matter our perceptions of the people around us, they all are going through something. We all have that little being inside us that needs love, patience and empathy.
Increasingly our default behaviour is to swear and shake a fist at each other. But it’s a smile and a gentle hand up that is often most needed.
Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay
Wow! What a powerful and important message. Thank you for this much needed reminder.
This is a principle I have come to live by more and more as I get older. Don’t prejudge people as I don’t know their situation, and give people the benefit of the doubt even when they appear to be jerks. I live calmer than I used to. As the saying goes, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. Compassion, understanding and graciousness are contagious.